In Monotone

My heart beats so fast that I barely know
if it is still beating. My limbs feel as if they aren't
working properly, either.
It's just nerves..
not a big deal

If it's not such a big deal,
then why am I acting this way?
Why can't I just take a deep breath of air
and make it all go away?

I can't because of my nerves
and my fears.
They control me.

Alright, here I come.
That's my cue.
I have to go and say my lines
and act like I've never acted before.
But I know I cannot.

My fear controls me.

I know I will come up short.
I will simply say my lines in
a monotone
and act the way I'm supposed to.

This play that I've got going for myself
is only up to par.

I am not in control.